We are two months into the New Year - how are your “resolutions” working out for you?
A reminder that resolutions don’t need to require you to nosedive into a pool of debt, or to make unrealistic commitments in attempts to drastically change your life overnight?
According to a survey from Scranton University, only 8% of folks are successful in keeping their New Year’s Resolutions. That makes the failure rate a whopping 92%! Admittedly, 58% of folks failed to maintain their resolution beyond the first month. No wonder thinking of our upcoming resolutions can feel so daunting!
It’s time we take a different approach: Small steps instead of giant leaps, making it easier for things to fall into (and stay in) place. Many resolutions fail because we often set high standards- and don’t have a plan for followthrough.
Resolutions often work when they are clear and concise. (A little structure never hurt nobody! ..We think. Hehe.)
1. RADICAL SELF LOVE
Instead of hyper-focusing on your image of what an “ideal” body is, we recommend focusing on the body you are already living in! This isn’t to say you ought to skip a workout regimine (intentionally moving your body is one of the best ways to keep your physical, emotional, and mental health in adequate condition!) This is to say, however, that many of our “ideas” of what our body should or shouldn’t look like is a product of what society tells us. (Let’s be honest, babe, the Eurocentric beauty standard is SO over).
That one-of-a-kind flesh suit of yours has been with you since day one (and will be the only one you call ‘Home’ until your soul inevitably deploys itself unto the stars). Why not make yourself comfortable? Your body is incredible! It’s carried you through thick and thin; ups and downs; every heartbreak and trauma; every tasty meal and satisfying romp! Show it some LOVE and be kind to you. <3
Loving yourself starts with just that- – loving yourself! And it starts within.
2.“FREE YOUR MIND, AND THE REST WILL FOLLOW!”
According to an article published by The National Science Foundation, the average person experiences between 12,000 and 60,000 thoughts per day.
98% of those thoughts are the same as the day before –80% of which are negative!
So, HOW do we change it?! Neuroplasticity is the brain’s ability to (re)form and reorganize synaptic connections. Simply put: it’s time to “rewire” our brains!
Continuing to work with a professional, such as a therapist or life coach, to better understand yourself has a large possibility of impacting your life with positivity.
Real talk: attending therapy and “doing the work” is sexy.
Meditation, yoga, and practicing forgiveness and mindfulness are also helpful tools to facilitate healing (and they’re free!).
3. DITCH THE GREEN!
We aren’t talking about your veggies, bb! (And if you happen to occasionally partake in certain relaxing herbs because they’re legal in your state, then that’s *your* business!) ;-)
“Green with envy”! “Ugly as sin”! Jealousy is a color (a vibe, if you will) that looks good on no one! A completely normal emotional reaction that we’ve all likely experienced, perhaps more than we would like to admit.
Jealousy has the ability to tarnish our minds, and can negatively impact our vision of ourselves and our relationships. Treating jealousy like a guest in your home allows you to acknowledge it, sit with it, and kindly ask it to leave. Ask yourself “why” you’re experiencing Jealousy, and what you might be able to do to deal with it. Writing down or calmly communicating these thoughts and feelings can be an excellent way to work through them. These exercises usually become easier over time, and – best case scenario – improve your relationship with yourself and others. You’re in control, babe with the power.
4. REIMAGINE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH SEX AND INTIMACY
What are your beliefs and views on sex and intimacy? Are there some kinks you don’t quite understand and you’re not sure why? Maybe some (uninformed) perceptions you’re ready to unpack? Read more books, listen to podcasts, attend a local sex-positive workshop! There’s an endless supply of sex education out there- take the plunge!
Sexuality is fluid (heh heh), and much like gender, it is a spectrum. No two people’s sexuality is the exact same- isn’t that neat? That means YOU get to define YOURS! Peeling back layers and inspecting your curiosities and desires is one of *thee* most sexually liberating (re)solutions out there!
Making time to explore yourself (and others) is a TIT-illating journey worth pursuing – and a lifelong one, at that! The more you delve into your relationship with sex and intimacy, the more comfortable and open you may be discussing and exploring. And the great news is- there are loads of folks out there doing the same- a whole community awaits you!
5. IT’S A DATE!
The 2-2-2 Rule: Every 2 weeks, go on a date; every 2 months, go out of town for the weekend; every 2 years, go on vacation.
Even if you’ve been married for decades, your relationship can surely benefit from some one-on-one time. Dating doesn’t need to be expensive: enjoy a picnic at a park in a part of town you have yet to explore; wake up early on the weekend for a hike; peruse the produce at your local farmer’s market, and prepare dinner together at home. Or get adventurous and finally snag that couple’s sex toy you’ve been eyeballing for a hot minute! Most importantly, put the date on the calendar and stick to it!
If you’re riding the waves of the dating pool, you can still apply the 2-2-2 Rule. Make 2023 the year of saying “YES!” to more dates! Schedule a meetup with a