After a long, stressful day, sometimes all you need is to go home, hop in bed with your partner and fool around. There are hundreds of different ways to be physically intimate in the bedroom. Unfortunately, there are just as many things that can stand in the way of you and your partner’s pleasure, most of which can be uncomfortable, and sometimes embarrassing.
According to one survey released in 2019, intimacy is the second-most stressed about relationship issue behind finances. In fact, research shows millennials specifically are engaging in significantly less physical intimacy than previous generations. Now, if sex is becoming a burden on your relationship rather than a way to be physically and emotionally close to your partner, you may find comfort in knowing you’re not alone.
It’s important that you know sex should be fun and pleasurable for each person in the relationship and struggling in that area shouldn’t be a taboo. Let’s dive into some of the most common sex struggles couples face and how to overcome them without feeling any blows to your manhood or shame to your sensuality.
Finding the right condom
It’s pretty common, for men especially, to feel contempt toward condoms. “It squeezes me too hard,” or “it interrupts the romantic moment,” or “it doesn’t feel as good with a condom on,” are just a few of several condom myths that claim condoms are more of a buzzkill than a sidekick. In reality, you probably just haven’t found the right one. It’s critical that you find the right condom size, material, and even flavor, that heightens your pleasure from your favorite sex acts. Don’t knock it until you find the best condom for you; luckily for you both, all it takes is lots and lots of trial and error.
“Don’t worry, it happens to every guy.” The last thing any guy wants to hear. But, that saying is partly true: more than half of guys really have faced a legitimate medical inability to perform. 55% will struggle to get and maintain an erection in their lifetime, a condition popularly known as erectile dysfunction. And it’s not just happening to men; women experience sexual dysfunction, too, often in the form of painful intercourse. Luckily, there are medications that address these concerns, like the prescription sildenafil that treats ED, or Osphena which helps women experience less painful sex. So, talk to a doctor to learn about the right treatments for you if you start to experience frequent shortcomings. Don’t let your pride prevent you from taking care of the parts you need to have fun, pleasurable sex.
Lack of communication
Chances are you aren’t a mind-reader and neither is your partner. When sex isn’t fun or comfortable anymore, there’s a reason– you just have to get down to the bottom of it. How is your partner supposed to know what you like or what you don’t like if you don’t tell them, and vice versa? Get comfortable sharing your emotions, your favorite positions, or your deepest fantasies. The keys to physical intimacy are trust and communication, so if you struggle in the sharing department, there’s no shame in reaching out to a sex therapist or couple’s counselor to discover new ways to reconnect physically and emotionally. Remember to be honest and open-minded when discussing these rather sensitive topics.
The biggest challenge you’ll face in the bedroom is your own self-doubt. In today’s age of social media, it’s easy to compare yourself to others, leading to low self-esteem and body-image issues. Self-acceptance, however, is the key to enjoyable sex. Not to mention, you should be with someone who loves every ounce of you just the way it is. So, if you’re a little too hard on yourself (pun intended) it might be time to take up some self-care hobbies, like journaling or meditation, or even seek therapy. Get in touch with your sensuality and embrace your quirks so there’s nothing keeping you from a satisfying sex life.
Not every rendezvous is going to be a walk in the park. Sex, just like relationships, takes a lot of work, and a lot of communication. But in the end, it’s worth the effort.
Let’s hear it from you; what do you and your partner struggle with in the bedroom? It’ll be our dirty little secret.